A day before payday, July 14, I entertained the thought of making a career change. So I logged on to Shelfari and tried to impress some posters of “Help Wanted” ads in the discussion boards with my credentials. This is one of those headhunter ads posted by a hottie named !pinkadink:
Desperately seeking job applicants, muchos apologies for the repetitive cross posts
We are looking for a Products/Data Entry Specialist to be based in Makati on a five-month contractual basis.
- Write, rewrite (if necessary) and format product description according to company-approved Product Style Guide.
- Proofread product description to ensure that copy is clear, complete and accurate.
- Research, gather and collate information from supplier or online.
- Contact suppliers to request or verify product information.
- Upload product description and prices to website.
- Update product description and prices when necessary.
- Review existing descriptions for necessary updates and/or improvements.
- Record all changes, updates, and rewrites done as they occur.
- Note and document all sources of information used as the basis for the update/rewrite.
- Keep track and maintain an organized file of all product information received from suppliers.
- Any other duties assigned by management.
- College graduate of any four-year course, preferably in Journalism, Communications, Literature, Humanities, Liberal Arts and/or Multimedia Studies
- Excellent writing and oral communication skills
- Must be highly analytical with excellent reading comprehension skills
- Able to follow complex and detailed instructions
- Strong working knowledge of computer and online applications, including MS Word, MS Excel, MS PowerPoint, MS Outlook, etc.
- Geographical knowledge and/or passion for travel is a plus
- Highly organized, with excellent time management skills and able to multi-task
- Strong problem-solving, analytical and quantitative skills
- Adaptable to change and able to work under pressure
- Able to set priorities and meet deadlines
- Focused, goal-oriented and with a strong work ethic
- High standards of ethical and professional conduct
We can offer
- A competitive salary package
- Performance bonus
- Food and transportation allowance
- A fun yet professional environment
We are open to fresh grads and undergrads looking for internship
opportunities in the web and/or travel industry. Interested applicants
may email their resumes to email@example.com.
And this is hippie’s reply to her:
pede po ba ko, mam?
--ako po’y isang hayskul gradweyt at may mataas na grado sa P.E. at music
--magaling po akong mag-inggles...lalo na pag lasing, at ayos naman po ang aking grammars at speling
--mahusay din po akong magsulat at mag-rewrite; natutunan ko po sa mabilisang pangongopya ng assignment at paggawa ng kodigo tuwing may exam
--ok din po ko sa proofreading...kase di bumababa sa 90 proof iniinom kong gin
--i’m also good in research, lahat ng email addresses at last names ng mga crush ko sa friendster na-google ko po
--madami din po kong contacts; mostly textmates at syempre, suppliers ng kung anu-anong bawal isulat dito
--uploading and updating is my game...di po lumalagpas ng 24 hours login ko sa friendster
--ayos din po ko sa “any other duties assigned by management”. kung di niyo po naitatanong, floor manager ako dati sa isang opisinang multinasyunal; di lang po mop, sanay din po ko mag-operate ng floor polisher
--excellent reading comprehension skills? paborito ko po ang Libre sa MRT at si Xerex ng Abante
--strong problem-solving skills...marami po kong problema sa buhay
--focused, goal-oriented? athletic din po ko; magaling ako sa basketball at bilyar
--high standards...highly organized...tamang-tama, lagi po kong high!
--a competitive salary package, food and transportation allowance...ayos! mahilig din po ko sa mga regalo at padalang package, not to mention pagkain: street food, junk food, you name it; and of course allowance, kahit wala pong salary basta meron nito: baon
--finally, a fun yet professional environment...masayahin po akong tao at isang environmentalis!
So do you think I’ll bag the job?
Soundtrack: “Career Opportunities” by the Clash